Top 10 Advantages to having a Child with Severe and Complex Needs

All of my past and future blogs are now posted on my new website Born at the Right Time

1) Disabled Bays No more aimlessly driving around a crowded car-park with only the precious blue bays left vacant and out of bounds. You get the privilege of parking in Disabled bays and on double yellow lines.

2) Jumping the Queue Whether it's boarding a flight, ferry or euro-tunnel you get preferential treatment, and nothing matches jumping the queues at a theme park.

3) Carer gets in Free I pay for my child and then I get in free, whether it’s the cinema, zoo, theatre, swimming pool or many more. Caution: If you want to go and see the latest Saw movie, it might not work; if you’re a Disney/Pixar fan then you’re set.

4) Celebrity Status No more blending into the crowd; people watch you wherever you go. Admittedly it isn’t the “Wow, look who's over there” stare; it’s more an awkward “Awww look at that bedraggled women and terribly disabled child” look. Attention is attention though, let's not be fussy.

5) Endless Appointments Your importance cranks up to fever pitch. Everyone wants a piece of you as you go to endless therapy appointments. You even get the pleasure of having perfect strangers trample through your home checking you out; it’s a lot like Big Brother but without the sleep.

6) Extraordinary Parenting Other Mums boast about their exceptional ability to multi-task as cleaner, cook, accountant, teacher, chauffeur etc., but that isn’t a patch on the skills you will develop:

• Nurse - not just the magic kiss and apply a plaster type but the real McCoy who draws up dozens of medications daily, learns about PEGs, seizures, resuscitation and other hard-core stuff

• Occupational Therapist – making and adapting things, always seeing opportunities for development

• Physiotherapist – daily stretches, 24 hour positioning, handling and active therapy

• Speech and Language Therapist – interpreting noises and movements, creating a conversation practically on your own, learning about high-tech talking aids

• Wheelchair Technician – making adjustments and adaptions

• Visual Impairment Specialist – stimulating sight and promoting all the senses

• Dietician - not the petty "Eat your greens" or "Have you had enough to drink?" but more the calculating calories, introducing essential nutrients and multi-vitamins, tailoring feed rates and dose in relation to reflux, weight gain and tolerance

• Weight lifter – as your child grows in weight, but not ability, you learn to lift a 28kg child with the ease of any burly man at your local gym

The list goes on……..

7) Every Detail Counts You notice everything: every grimace, facial expression or hand gesture. Each movement speaks a thousand words and you learn to notice, treasure and interpret them all. You then appreciate the other children around you in a deeper, more profound way. How they grow, develop and learn so effortlessly, as though Spock has hit hyper-drive.

8) Learning to Live in the Moment Every day and every moment is precious. You learn
that life changes in a heartbeat, so you make choices based on what you believe is important: the people, the relationships and the memories. It’s less about yesterday or tomorrow but rather all about today.

9) Love beyond imagination When life pulls you into a thousand pieces, beyond what you thought was your natural limit, you realise you are held together by the thinnest of strands. On inspection you notice that this minute, delicate thread is woven by the most potent and powerful emotion imaginable, love; wordless and endless love.

10) Transformation is inevitable Immeasurably and forever, you, your views, your family and your life are changed. You see beauty where you once saw pain, you see joy through your tears and life becomes a gift, never to be taken for granted.

Please comment and let me know what are your Top 10 Advantages?